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Randomness from a 2005 graduate of The Moritz College of Law at The Ohio State University

 

Friday, October 31, 2003

Can I just say that I think it is great that this blog has turned into a way to get dating advice. I just got an email from a complete stranger giving me dating advice (and suggesting good tv, too). I love it. He suggested casually inviting the guy out with friends or something along those lines. I've thought of that, but I haven't quite figured out how to make the "casual" part happen. Although we did "run into each other" a few weeks ago which I am still ecstatic over. Also, he suggested going somewhere that I know he hangs out. One idea I've had is that I know he tends bar one day a week, so I was thinking about going there with a friend. I almost executed that plan last weekend, but my friend had to cancel at the last minute. Maybe another time soon...

I was thinking that it will be really funny if things work out and he ends up seeing all the silliness I've written about him. Oh well, if I'm the right kind of girl for him he will just be flattered, not horrified.

I wonder how many guys really would like being asked out by a girl. I have two emails so far saying it would be a good thing, but I have definitely heard guys say before that it makes them think a guy is desperate. I also really worry that a guy would say yes if a girl asked him out just because he didn't have a better offer at that exact moment in time, but he might not really be interested at all.

Well, I'm off to spend a Friday night doing homework. Maybe that will take my mind off him. I doubt it. |
 

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Right now I am highly disappointed in the quality of television. Sure, everyone has been saying this for years, but for me it just really hit me tonight. Maybe I need to start watching higher quality shows in the first place.

The O.C.:
This sure isn't going to be the next 90210. The blonde kid is cute, and I like Peter Gallagher, but it is already getting a little ridiculous. It's not even the next Dawson's Creek. This could be my favorite new show, if only a lot of things were different.

Law and Order:
Okay, I get their "ripped from the headlines" theme, but come on. I hope they aren't paying the writers too much to be entirely uncreative. Tonight it's about a fire at a nightclub where the band used flames. I don't want science fiction or anything bizarre, but a little creativity would be nice.

Friends:
Friends is supposed to be the safe standby. It's been relatively good so far this season, but it has this feeling like there are too many writers and they aren't reading what the others write. Like the Joey and Rachel thing - first they are all over each other, then they are uncomfortable together, then it is as if that entire plot line never occurred. And apparently tomorrow Phoebe and Mike are going to get engaged, following the strong plot development of: he doesn't ever want to get married again, she almost gets engaged to the guy who went to Minsk, Mike shows up, and two shows later they are arguing about who loves each other more. I liked Paul Rudd in Clueless, but seriously, give me a little plot development.

So I guess I better hurry up and get a boyfriend, so I can stop watching so much tv. Only 5 1/2 more weeks. Until I can find out if he likes me. GRRRRRR...I'm waiting for something that isn't even a sure thing!

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It is four hours until my practice argument for app ad and I'm freaking out. For me, at least. I don't know why I even feel anxious. First of all, this doesn't even count towards our grade, and even the real argument in a couple weeks is only 20% of our grade, or something like that. But it feels like it matters so much. I think it's because this is what I like to do, and to an extent what I'm supposed to be good at. So if it doesn't go well, it's like I'm more of a failure than if I don't do well at other law school sort of stuff. All I want is to be on moot court, and this is the first, very important step towards that goal. Oh, I hope I don't screw up!

I'm a law student, so I guess I'm supposed to vote next week. I have some issues with politics, that are probably slightly different from the average person's issues. I got involved in politics when I was 9 years old. I went to a march in Washington for my 12th birthday present. I did all the nerdy stuff in middle and high school like Model UN and Youth in Government. And by the time I got to college I was burnt out and disillusioned. Obviously I still care about political issues, based on the various paths I have pursued, but it is really hard to get myself to care about electoral politics per se. It is especially hard since I consider almost all Democrats too conservative to vote for with a clear conscience. Based on the politically charged atmosphere in which I find myself, I guess I better vote (or else steal a "I voted today" sticker and lie). Too bad I have no idea what's on the ballot besides issue 1.

I think I'm going to take a nap now so that I don't fall asleep while my opponent is talking this evening. Although I'm already getting anxious about not waking up. I'm probably anxious enough that I won't actually fall all the way asleep anyway, and it will be fine. Plus there's that alarm clock thing. |
 

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Yankees LOSE!!! Good things do happen. Sure it would have been better if I was watching the game with him, but still, it was great to watch the Yankees lose. And Josh Beckett was awesome, although watching a 23 year old win the World Series sure can make a person feel inadequate. I'm happy right now. Yankees LOSE! Now what do I do for the next 6 months? I guess it's hockey time. Or maybe I should study a little more. Maybe not.

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Friday, October 24, 2003

Right now I am sitting on my couch all alone cracking up. The reason for the hysterics is the fabulous email I just got from Mike. His advice was: "ASK HIM OUT!" Can I just say that I would like nothing better. Despite the fact that doing so would terrify me, at this point I am going so crazy that I could get over my fear.

Reasons I'm not asking him out. Yet.
1. He is my supervisor
2. As my supervisor, he is responsible for my grade
2a. As my ex-boyfriend pointed out, though, I should be confident that I could only improve my grade by asking him out
3. Although I wouldn't really have an ethical problem with it (since my motives would be pure - ethics wise, at least), I suspect he, and the university, would
4. What if he said no, and then I had to work with him for 6 more weeks and had to count on him for my grade and was humiliated for all time?
5. What if I asked him out, he said yes, we went out, and then I was either horribly let down, or else fell madly in love and then he broke my heart?

#3 is the main reason. That and being a wuss. Although I don't know how much longer I can take this. I practically moan when he walks out of the room at work. Sooner or later someone else is going to notice. Either that or I will just implode.

But it sure takes my mind off school. |
 

Thursday, October 23, 2003

The Yankees suck. Even though they didn't actually come back tonight, I hate them. I have no doubt they will win the World Series. They make me mad at myself for even staying up and watching them play. And now it's back to New York. Grrrrrr. |
 
I adore him! So, so, so, so much! Why can't I go out with him? Why don't I even know if he likes me? I can't take this!

I'm starting to get minimally nervous about the semester winding down. I have to actually be prepared to take exams in 6 weeks. I'm not behind or anything, so I'm not freaking out, but when I imagine having to know so much so soon, it's a little scary. And I have to do well so I can get a good job so I can support him... |
 

Monday, October 20, 2003

Having been ID-less for 3 1/2 days, I am contemplating walking to the store to get some beer in order to fight the withdrawal. If I leave now I can get back in time for 7th Heaven. Which one of those sentences indicates more of a problem?

Everyone at school was running around this evening getting ready for their practice arguments for app ad. It was funny. Some people were really nervous, some didn't seem to care much at all. Both attitudes make me feel more confident. I just don't want to screw this up - I want to be on moot court so much.

Well, I guess I better go get beer before it's too late. |
 

Sunday, October 19, 2003

MLB is ripping me off. |
 

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Next week I am on call in one of my classes, so I guess I better read really carefully this weekend. Really I always do, but with the added pressure, I will make sure my notes in the margin make sense and are instantly accessible. I was on call in this class once before and didn't get called on, so I'm sure he'll call on me first thing Monday morning. I don't know why I dread it. I'm sure I will know what I'm talking about and do fine. But....the pressure not to sound stupid is agonizing.

Yesterday app ad put me in such a good mood. That's not something you hear too often. I am just so excited about oral arguments. I have no illusions that I will be the best or anything, but it will be fun. This is the best part of law school. What could be more fun than writing a brief and then getting to argue your side? And this is why I don't get what it is that transactional lawyers do.

Well I'm off to read for classes. I would go to school and work on my journal assignment, but I don't want to have to have another fit over football traffic and parking. I'm getting angry just thinking about it. |
 

Friday, October 17, 2003

I think I'm sick of journal already. I just turned in my first real assignment today, there's another one due on Monday, and we get another one then I think. Before this we just did proofreading and really basic stuff to get the first issue perfect. Now it feels like so much at once. At least other things are semi under control right now.

I'm feeling stress about the guy at work. Not for any good reason. Just because I'm a girl. Also because it's stressful to be interested in someone and not be able to do anything about it or find out if he feels the same way. I actually thought I was going to get to see him today (to pick up my ID which I left in his car - totally by accident, I swear - which he then left at work), but now I don't know. He didn't go to work and when I called him he was strange on the phone, but maybe it was just because he was busy. And now, without my ID, I can't even go out this weekend. He said he would call me back, so we'll see.

I have been rejected from two of the four firms I interviewed with last week already. Oh well. |
 

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

I'm tired! That could be all I wrote every day and it would be a complete and accurate statement of my life.

Things are potentially looking up, though. Interviews are over, so that is a huge relief. I have caught up on the research I'm doing for one professor, and am not currently doing any work for the other two kind-of-jobs I have. I have a week longer than the other people in my section before my practice argument for app ad. And of course, every day that I get to see the guy I like it makes me giddy. Now if I could just sleep really late one day, things would be great. (Actually, when I am just in the same room as HIM things are perfect in spite of my exhaustion) |
 

Sunday, October 12, 2003

I have never been so tired in my whole life. And I have nothing to show for it. Last year I had a very relaxing yet productive fall break. This year, not so much. I would happily do my first year of law school over three times then deal with everything this year. I feel consumed by the stress, but it isn't even focused on anything in particular. There's no particular assignment or class or really anything, it's just all of it. And because of all of it, I can't sleep even when I finally do go to bed, because I can't stop thinking about everything I have to do, partially just to remember it all. I think if I could have another week off, and spend it just sleeping, I might emerge very happy. Maybe in December.

My callbacks on Thursday and Friday went relatively well. There was a really cute guy at the firm Friday, so that helped. I would guess I have about a 5% chance of getting a job from any of the firms I interviewed with. Of course that is a completely uninformed guess, but it feels right. I will be fine with that, I think. Then I will have to put more energy into looking for a job, but it will be likely to end up being something I am far more interested in doing. I guess I'll just wait and see.

I got un-called back on Friday. I think that's right up there with the other bad rejection stories. I had the first round interview and it went really well. Then a week later I got a phone message from the interviewer saying he was inviting me to a callback. Then I tried to call him the next day and left a message with his secretary. Then I emailed him a few days later to "follow up." Then I called him a week later and left a voice mail message. That was last Monday. Friday I got a rejection letter in the mail. 26 days after the initial interview and 18 days after he said I had gotten a callback. At least it wasn't a form letter. I'm not especially bitter about it, but I wish they had never gotten my hopes up.

On a much happier topic - I saw the boy I like Saturday night! Yay! It was a delightful weekend. Nothing actually happened, but it was still absolutely fabulous.

The Yankees/Red Sox game just got cancelled, so I guess I can really get some work done tonight. My mind isn't up for it, but I don't really have a choice. |
 

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

I think it should be mandatory that two playoff games cannot be played simulataneously. On the same night is fine, just stagger them. This is ridiculous. So far the Boston/New York game is primary and I'm just watching the Chicago/Florida game during breaks. But this set-up is not making me happy. This must be Steinbrenner's doing.

Second callback went very well, or so it seemed. Off to Akron at 7am tomorrow... So these games better not go into extra innings. |
 

Monday, October 06, 2003

I'm exhausted. I just got back from my first callback interview and I am completely drained. I think it was more the 4 1/2 hours of driving than the 3 hours of interviewing, but whatever the cause, it wore me out.

I think it went well, although of course I have no idea really. I met with 5 people and I think they all liked me. The last guy I didn't feel I connected with quite as well as the others, but it was all good. I think it would be really cool to work there. Everyone seemed so happy to be there. And it was a beautiful office. One thing that caught me a little off guard was that two of them made me tell them where else I had callbacks. I tried to avoid it with general answers, but they were very insistent, although I doubt it really matters. I wonder when I'll hear anything.
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Sunday, October 05, 2003

FALL BREAK!

Break has started out well - I have watched like 20 hours of baseball in the last three days. I had really wanted to go away, but callbacks are preventing that. I figure that's a decent trade-off. This will in some ways be a far less productive break than I had hoped, as well as less relaxing. Monday through Friday I will be busier than normal, so I guess I won't exactly be getting ahead on my work.

Monday - interview in Cleveland (firm #7 I think) - I'm really excited about this one, although the guy I interviewed with is going to be out of town so there won't be any familiar faces.

Tuesday - work all day - I will probably go in early and I will definitely be staying late, because there is a fundraiser in the evening. Of course I totally don't have to go since I've worked so much already and it's break week, but something (someone) is motivating me to go in anyway.

Wednesday - interview in Columbus (firm #21) - I'm cautiously optimistic about this one. The first interview was good, but it's hard to get an accurate feel from a young associate I think. Considering the woman who interviewed me was a transactional lawyer, and we still connected ( which is rare), maybe they are just really nice there.

Thursday - interview in Akron. As I said before, this was actually a great first interview even though the firm is based in Akron. I just hope I don't get lost. The only time I've ever been to Akron before was for the LSAT and I almost didn't make it in time.

Friday - another interview in Cleveland. I wasn't sure about this firm from the first interview, but the secretary who scheduled my callback was so friendly that it gave me a good feeling.

Okay, so now I'm getting more nervous about the interviews. It's not that these interviews last longer or that there are more people to impress. It's the dumb things making me nervous. Like I don't really want to drive for two hours in my suit, but I'm not sure where or when I could change. I'm considering changing in a bathroom in Tower City or something like that. But that seems kind of stupid, and slightly gross. I'm also feeling stress about what to take with me. Do I just carry the black leather folder that we all carried to first round interviews? Do I put it in a briefcase? If so, is it okay that the only briefcase I have is brown, whereas my shoes will be black? If I just carry the folder, do I carry a purse too (since otherwise I'll be clutching my keys in my fist)? Right now I think I will go with the briefcase, partially to avoid the clumsiness of a purse, and partially because it's really nice and I never get to use it. But I'm still not sure. I don't know what I'm going to do about driving to Cleveland in a suit. Thank God I'm worrying about this stuff so that I don't get stressed about real things.

Now back to baseball - why do they even bother playing the full game against the Yankees? It's just boring. |
 

Friday, October 03, 2003

I just had dinner with a couple of friends. It was nice, but I wish I could have convinced them to go out drinking... So now I'm at home watching tv again. Oh well.

We got into a conversation about prenuptial agreements. I was very much on the side that I would never marry a guy who even suggested one and another girl felt exactly the opposite way. She thought that especially if she might be making more, and even if she wasn't, that it was smart to have a prenup. She also thought that separate bank accounts were smart. I know that her view is very common, but I just don't get it. I wonder if law school makes people more likely to feel that way. Half the cases we read involve families suing each other and we learn just how the law can be manipulated. Right now I'm watching Miss Match and the divorce lawyers are trying to force people to turn into jerks. I can't stand it. I can't help but think that planning for the downside makes it more likely to happen. |
 

Thursday, October 02, 2003

In the battle between law and life, law is definitely winning lately. My time is filled with law school related stuff, and not much else. This is a weird situation to find myself in after last year. I think I did work like two evenings all of last year. I went Christmas shopping the night before my crim law exam. It wasn't that school was any easier last year; I just had other stuff to keep me busy. I'm glad that my personal life is simpler now, but I wish that it wasn't just due a complete lack of a personal life. It was hard to come back to school this year. Over the summer I went out almost every single night, which is not really in character for me, but was a wonderful diversion. Coming home, it was like I walked into a life of silence. No one to pick me up at the airport, no one to go out with every night, no one to talk to about all the decisions I'm making right now, just silence. I don't mean to sound too self pitying because I do have friends and I do go out. Some days it's just hard though. I'm not used to being alone. And I can't do anything yet about the fabulous guy at work since he's my boss. And I don't even know if he likes me... I sound 13.

Anyway. I am so glad there is only one more day before fall break. Two more classes, one more afternoon of work - then no school for 9 days! I need a break. It won't be that relaxing since I have interviews and I'll be working, but at least I'll have a break from class. And maybe I'll get in some more margaritas with my special gay friend. Now that would make a good break. |
 

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Everyone was sufficiently sick of talking about exam software, so there was no real debate tonight. We just took an unofficial vote to gauge how people feel. The results were decidedly against the software. So, that was a minor victory. However, given the discussion the rest of the night, I would have welcomed a good software debate.

Is it a bad sign that the second draft of my brief is due for app ad tomorrow and I'm sitting here watching Law and Order? Probably. It is also probably a bad sign that I have started dreaming that I am a character on the show. Damn those reruns. |