Randomness from a 2005 graduate of The Moritz College of Law at The Ohio State University


Sunday, February 29, 2004

I am gradually regaining my equillibrium after the events of the last few days. There may be a lot of disappointments and frustrations ahead related to the past week's occurences as well, but it is all out of my hands. I know that I have done my best in everything I have taken on this year, and I have nothing to apologize for or feel bad about. All I can do is continue to work hard and enjoy law school and trust that in one way or another that will eventually pay off.

Now, I have to file my FAFSA, before it's too late! I've been putting it off because I wanted to file my taxes first, but I didn't have one of my W2s. This was as a result of my stupid decision to enroll in the online W2 delivery service that OSU kept pushing. It seemed like such a good idea at the time. Until it turned out that I needed a PIN number that was not provided. Now I finally have my W2, which of course shows that I made like $700, so I have no more excuses. And every incentive, since I can't exactly attend law school without loans next year. |

Friday, February 27, 2004

I have some advice for current and future law students that will help you to be better liked. (Okay, this is mostly me ranting/venting, but I figured it was more appropriate if I called it advice)

Please do NOT complain if you make it to the final round for moot court. Guess what? There are a lot of other people who would gladly trade places with you. Plus, everyone knows you are just doing it to get attention. Similarly, do not complain about getting a 98. Also, no one cares if you just can't decide between New York and DC. Or New York and Chicago. Or anywhere else that most people do not have the option to choose between. So just be quiet.

I have been pretty disappointed over the last few days, but I still know how lucky I am. Every one of us who is in law school is extremely fortunate. Certainly, I know people who have had to deal with crushing personal tragedies during law school. And I know people who have suffered various academic and professional setbacks. But please, everyone, stop complaining about the burden of your good fortune.
Next week Antony Duff is visiting OSU and will be discussing his paper, Criminalising Endangerment, and I will be fortunate enough to get to hear him speak. I decided to look up some information about him beforehand, and it turns out that he is a regular contributor to a very interesting blog. Check it out. |
Things are getting better... I'm not sure how, but I'm not giving them a choice. I just can't wait to finish class this afternoon, because I am so in need of the weekend. Yes, I have to work at 7am again tomorrow, and I need to make substantial progress on my paper this weekend, but it will still be nice to escape the law school. |

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

It has been a very bad day. Major law school disappointments, including not making the next round for moot court, as well as something much more substantial. But I am trying to maintain as positive of an attitude as I can. No one has died. I have been much more disappointed/hurt/rejected before. And despite everything, I in no way doubt my own abilities or potential. So, it will all be okay. I will still conquer the world. I just have to plaster on a fake smile for the moment, and trust that soon it will be genuine again.

The only good thing in all of this is that I emailed Brandon to tell him the bad news and he responded in 16 minutes. Now that is impressive response time. It was a very nice, encouraging email that temporarily made me feel much better. Only temporarily because it was only an email. Is it pathetic that if he had actually called me I would have completely forgotten about everything else in the world? It's either pathetic or means that I realize there are more important things than law school. Or both. |

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

I'm mad at blogger right now. I tried to open my own blog and it had like a million script errors and the comments had disappeared. If it doesn't fix itself I may have to spend my time doing something more productive. Or I may just have to have more patience.

I made it through the entire first round of our moot court competition. I think 3 out of my 4 arguments went really well. I wonder if that will be enough to move on. If I don't, I'll be disappointed, but not crushed. I've been so fortunate all year; there's no need to be greedy.

Tomorrow is a big day. Wish me luck. |

Sunday, February 22, 2004

It was wonderful to see my friend from high school last night. It felt like we had never been apart. We had a nice dinner and then went for coffee and ended up talking for hours. I really hope we start hanging out now that we have found each other again. She is one of those really good people who it is always nice to have in your life.

Last night I also went to a party at my parents' house. A friend of theirs was visiting from out of town, so they had lots of people over in her honor. It was nice to stop by and get to talk about law with their friends, and see my aunt and uncle. But I was just so exhausted that I could stay long, or even have a glass of wine.

I slept extremely late today because I was so tired. Working so early yesterday didn't help, but I just don't think I should be as tired as I have been lately. A couple year ago I was getting so tired that I would have to just stop talking in the middle of conversations sometimes and I couldn't even keep my eyes open to watch tv. Doctors did all kinds of tests, but basically ignored my complaints or told me it was stress. I was also getting really dizzy a lot and they did find that I had certain problems that were causing the dizziness, but they didn't think the two were related. However, recently I have been getting dizzy more often and it makes me wonder if it's connected. I guess I should go back to the doctor, but I just don't have the time. So, if you see me holding on to a table or the wall at school, keep an eye on me to make sure I don't fall over. |

Saturday, February 21, 2004

Okay, after initially resisting, I shall now link to Steve Podraza. He's a little bit crazy and long winded, but quite smart and interesting. I even agree with him on most things. So, check it out. And Steve, if you figure out how to link, I expect reciprocity.

I hate working at 7am. I hate being at work at 7am and not working even more. Don't waste my time. I also hate rude security guards. In case there are some courthouse security guards reading this (which I doubt), I do not mean the ones working in 373 who are very nice, I mean the ones working in the building on the south. You ruined my morning.

I am looking forward to this evening, because I am going out to dinner with the friend I ran into at the coffee shop on Monday. I feel like there is a reason I ran into her. |

Friday, February 20, 2004

It has been an insane week. Last night I had my first round of oral arguments. The first argument went so poorly that I would have cried if there weren't other people around. I didn't do especially well and I felt like two of the judges (not the 3L) were just trying to be jerks. Not trying to challenge us, just being difficult to amuse themselves or something. I seriously wanted to leave after the first argument. Fortunately, the second argument went exceptionally well. It restored some of my confidence and enthusiasm, but not entirely.

So, I am looking forward to arguing again next week, especially since I get to argue the side that I actually agree with. It is pretty interesting to argue about the Pledge of Allegiance, considering I grew up in an atheist family and did not recite or stand for the Pledge. And now that I am a Christian, I have chosen to continue not to participate in the Pledge because of some of my personal religious beliefs. Not many people can ever really understand what it's like to be a child who doesn't participate in something like that. It is a big deal. But of course, I think it is guaranteed that the Court will uphold the Pledge, assuming it even reaches the actual question.

Work is still boring. And I have to work at 7am tomorrow. Saturday.

Oh...guess who called me this afternoon? David, from New Year's. What's up with that? Fortunately I had my phone turned off, so I didn't answer it. Since I deleted his number a while ago, I wouldn't have known who was calling and would have answered otherwise. This was his message, "Hi, it's David. Just calling to see what you're up to. Give me a call." As if it was perfectly normal for him to be calling me. Seven weeks later. And considering it was four in the afternoon, I don't think he was drunk. What the hell? |

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

I met my Little Sister tonight. It went well and I like her, but she was so shy that it was kind of a challenging experience. Having been (and still being, I suppose) quite shy myself, I understood though. She seemed to enjoy having pizza and ice cream. What kid wouldn't? When we got home and her mom asked her if she had fun she started smiling really big and nodding lots, so I guess I should take that as a good sign. I already am enjoying spending time with a child again. I don't want kids of my own, and I don't even want to work with kids full time, but I love spending time with children, so I'm excited about this experience.

I'm attempting to prepare for my oral arguments Thursday, but I kind of don't know what to do. Watching American Idol while I work probably is not helping my concentration either. And they are mostly awful tonight, so I really should turn it off. Oh wait, it's over now. So, on to watching America's Next Top Model. What's wrong with me? I swear, I write more about television than anything else, and that's just sad. But part of that is because I censor a lot of other thoughts that I might want to share. |

Monday, February 16, 2004

I am so happy right now. Tonight at the coffee shop I ran into one of my close friends from high school who I had lost track of. She is a couple years younger than me and when she went to college and I moved to Seattle we just lost touch. So tonight I was studying and she walked in looking much more mature than I remembered and I stared at her wondering if it was really who I thought it was. She saw me and came running over and hugged me. It was one of those girly moments. We are going to get together this weekend. Sometimes it's awkward seeing old friends who you aren't still close to, but she is one of those people I always wonder about and wish that I knew where she was. So, I'm looking forward to reacquainting ourselves.

I am insanely busy at the moment. I have so many things on my mind that I am feeling a high level of anxiety about potentially forgetting something. My mind is constantly racing in this sort of manic repitition of everything I have to remember. This is not good for sleeping. Or for concentrating in general. Once my first round of oral arguements are over this Thursday, there may be a little calm. Oh wait, no there won't. I have a journal assignment that will keep me busy over the weekend. So next Tuesday when I finish my second set of oral arguments maybe there will be some relief. Okay, so that means the weekend of the 28th I will rest. Sounds like a plan. |
Here I am asking for suggestions for links; I might as well link to more things that I already read every day and share the joy. The winner of the Best Title Ever is This Fish Needs a Bicycle. An engaging, non-law, male-written, angst filled blog is Crayon. And I've added one more law student blog, So Sue Me. |
I adore Steve's guidelines for Moritz bloggers. Mostly because he finds a way to pretent I'm respectable when really I just ramble. But I learned how to change the color of my blog during my first week, so there. You'll notice I haven't linked to some of our newest bloggers yet...I'm waiting to see if they are going to stick with it and post regularly. It drives me crazy to link to someone and then have their blogs go silent. Speaking of linking, does anyone has suggestions of great blogs (or other sites) to link to? I'm always looking for something new and interesting to read when I should be doing something productive. See, that was me rambling on ostensibly one topic, but not in any intelligent, coherent way. |

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Welcome to the newest Moritz Blogger! I am glad to welcome her, despite her conservative leanings...(I also think that at least a couple of our other bloggers are relatively conservative, too). She is one of the few people who I disagree with about so many things, and yet entirely believe is coming from a positive and pure place. And remarkably, there are topics we are in agreement on. Just not many. So check her out.

I had a highly unproductive day due to a computer crisis. Not a real one, but a crisis nonetheless. Somehow I managed to break the cord of my AC adaptor, causing little copper wires to break and stick out, and potentially pose a great danger should I have continued to use it. So I had to go get a new one immediately, of course. After going to Radio Shack, Target, and Best Buy, I finally found a single model at Circuit City that would work with my computer. And for only $119. :(

So a day of planned work did not materialize. Although I did get a lot of journal work done in the morning, and will do some more this evening. There's always tomorrow to work... |

Saturday, February 14, 2004

Here are my thoughts on Valentine's Day...

The Television Lineup. The following love-themed shows are on tonight at 8pm:
Fox - Cops: Love Hurts - Officers respond to domestic violence calls
History Channel - The St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Lifetime - Forever Love - "A comatose woman's best friend offers long-term support to her husband and daughter." (Emphasis added, but accurate)
E! - Hollywood Love Story - "Hot and hitched"
VH-1 - Celebrity Weddings
SciFi - Faust: Love of the Damned
Bravo - Fatal Attraction
FX - Say Anything
Lifetime Movie Network - Love in Another Town - "A 40ish divorcee falls for a man in his 20s."
WE - Four Weddings and a Funeral
Oxygen - Speaking of Sex - "Professionals try to help a married couple"
Trio - When Two Won't Do - "Polygamy has various effects on members of the relationships."
LRW(?) - Weddings of a Lifetime Presents - 33 Kennedy weddings
Fine Living - 10 Most Romantic Getaways
Encore Love Stories - Always
Fox Movie Channel - Leave Her to Heaven - "A jealous woman kills people to keep her writer husband to herself."

Only Say Anything, Four Weddings and a Funeral, 10 Most Romantic Getaways, and Always do not strike me as oddly inappropriate.

My Personal Life.
I hate my ex-boyfriend. Seven months of not speaking to him has not lessened the anger and hurt. I've just learned to deal with it on a day to day basis.

I was thinking about how well things have been going lately at school and professionally. I don't even care. It does not matter to me if I succeed at school or get a good job if I do not have love. I firmly believe that the entire point of life is to find someone to love more than oneself. I believe that one's life is a waste without a partner. I know this sounds dependent or needy or something like that, but I still believe it. I also still believe in soulmates. I still believe in love at first sight. I still believe in completing each other. So, yes, I have a frightening level of depression at times, but it is balanced by a staggering level of hope and faith, too. |

Friday, February 13, 2004

After working for the last six weeks on my independent study paper, I basically have to start over. I met with my professor today and he gave me very helpful advice. Advice to start over. I can't be upset or even that frustrated though, because he is absolutely right. All of my research is still useful of course, because I'm not switching topics. I just have to restructure, or maybe refilter the way I present my thoughts. I tried to work on it right after meeting with him this afternoon, but I felt too overwhelmed to accomplish much. Tomorrow will probably be a very busy day, but I will dive into the rewriting process either tomorrow night or Sunday. I'm still excited about this project, I just have a lot of work to do. |

Thursday, February 12, 2004

I am only awake now to watch Friends because I set my alarm. Maybe if I need an alarm to wake up at 8:00pm, I should be asleep. I am just so tired lately... But tomorrow my morning class is cancelled and my meeting at lunchtime is cancelled, so my first obligation is at 2pm. I'm already fantasizing about sleeping in.

I went to a meeting today about judicial clerkships. A couple of professors, former students, and a particularly cute current student spoke about their experiences. I didn't learn anything new, but it was still interesting. Being a judicial clerk sounds like a thrilling legal experience. It is such a long shot though, that I try not to allow myself to hope for it it too much. But there are so many awesome possibilities in the world of law, and I am not excluding any from potentially being part of my future. I will not eliminate this possibility by deciding that it is impossible. A lot of judges will have to reject of me on their own initiative next fall before I give up. |

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Yay! I figured out how to make my links open in new windows! Actually, thanks to Steve for telling me how to do it. I'm happy now. |
I am in a somewhat cranky mood at the moment. Hopefully the alcohol I am consuming will counteract that. Here are some of my pet peeves at the moment.

1. People who are driving in front of you in a parking lot or parking garage or even on a street and randomly decide to just stop driving and get out of the car for some reason (to put mail in a mailbox, to look for change on the floor, to switch drivers - these all happened today).
2. When people preface their comments in class with, "Since my dad is a...," or "When I used to work at...," or "At the firm I worked at last summer..." Guess what? No one cares.
3. Women who in a vain attempt to be sanitary choose not to sit on the toilet, but instead to suspend themselves over it. And then they pee all over the seat making it truly unsanitary for the next person. Just sit down.
4. All of the ads in our mailboxes at school. I want to put up a "no soliciting" sign, but it wouldn't do any good and people would just make fun of me.
5. People who do not clean up after their dogs. Especially when they let them go to the bathroom in the middle of the sidewalk. Also people who let their dogs run around freely when they are nowhere nearby to control the beasts.
6. Asking if there is anything I can do to help at work and being told, "Check your email."
7. When people ask the professor to "Please repeat everything you just said."
8. Pop-up ads online.
9. The fact that because I have digital cable I cannot tape a different show than the one I am watching.
10. "Adults" (people at law school) who make fun of the way other people dress.

Okay, I'm actually feeling a little better since I was struggling at the end to think of 10 things. Also, I apologize for being somewhat vulgar in #3 and #5.


Monday, February 09, 2004

Okay, you know my life is sad when I get stood up by an eight year old. I was supposed to meet my Little Sister tonight for the first time and take her to dinner. The caseworker and I showed up at her house, but she and her mother did not. I was very disappointed. The caseworker is going to call tomorrow to try to reschedule.

I actually had no homework to do tonight for once. So I went to the coffee shop to read for fun. And to flirt with Steve. But after like half an hour a friend called and asked if I wanted to go to Victoria's Secret. How could I say no to that? |

Sunday, February 08, 2004

It seems everyone is doing it... Can you tell I have an aversion to the South?

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

Saturday, February 07, 2004

My brain is about to explode from reading so much. I have learned a lot about criminal procedure lately. I'll have to take the class next year...maybe it will be easy. I had no idea when I chose my note topic how much I would have to learn just to be able to start writing. Thank God I like this stuff or I would be really miserable.

One week until V.D. My mom always calls it that, and never stops thinking it's funny. I'm not really dreading it, unlike some single people I know. I figure most of my valentine's days with boyfriends haven't been somewhere between bad and just like any other day, so I'm not missing too much. The only somewhat depressing thing is that valentine's day was my anniversary with my ex (it would be 4 years). I will just have to put that out of my mind, just like I attempt to put other things out of my mind every single day. |

Thursday, February 05, 2004

I emailed Brandon yesterday afternoon and he emailed me back this morning. I was quite pleased with the turn around time. And it was another really long email. At the very least, the fact that he is writing me back tells me he doesn't think I'm psycho and he doesn't wish I would just leave him alone. I guess I'll just stick with the email plan indefinitely. It doesn't hurt anything. I miss seeing him every day...

Today I also got an email from the friend who has been mad at me. She said she doesn't know why she has been mad so long. Then she asked me about Brandon and Steve, but didn't mention David at all. I found that somewhat suspicious. Then she just rambled about all sorts of stuff like everything is normal. I wrote back a general, friendly email. But I really don't feel very friendly. I'm pretty angry about how she acted, and I don't want people in my life who make me feel bad and cause me unnecessary stress. I'll just wait and see how things go. |
Everything is working out so well. My boss told me it is fine for me to leave for the summer. So tomorrow I get to call and officially accept my summer job. I am so grateful to get to experience both kinds of law I think I am most likely to want to practice. Actually, I am grateful for all of my law school experiences. Figuring out that I want to be a lawyer was a wonderful blessing in itself, and law school has only gotten better as it's gone along. There are a lot of things that have disappointed me and made me unhappy in the last couple of years, but I have also been so fortunate in so many ways. I need to remember that more often. |

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

I got the job! Now I just have to figure out how to deal with the current one. I just emailed my boss to arrange to meet with her. Hopefully she will allow me to leave for the summer. That would be ideal. Hurray!

And tonight we're having another journal social event. Always fun... :) |

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Chris inspired me to add comments. Now you all can give me random dating advice more easily... And yes, the spacing is a little weird, I know. I guess that just means I can't post more than once per day. |
You know how you click on one person's link and then another's and then another's, and next thing you know you're on some totally random site? Well somehow I just found myself reading the blog of an English prostitute. Strange. |
Congratulations to Chris! Editor in Chief of Law Journal. What is left to aspire to? I'm actually fairly serious. It's amazing how something like that can open so many doors. Probably twenty years from now (or more), his biography on some firm's website will still mention this honor. Not because he is conceited or won't let go of school or anything like that, but because that's just the way things are. It's like having a judicial clerkship, but maybe even better. I'm just guessing that in any given year there are more clerks than editors in chief (is that how you make that plural?). I am so impressed, although I don't know why. I know Chris, and this doesn't make him a different person, and, yet, I'm still impressed. So, congrats...

Monday, February 02, 2004

My brief is printing! My brief is printing! I'm very happy right now. Now all I have to do is save it to a disk. Why can't I just turn in a CD? Saving things to disks is stupid and should be obsolete by now. But of course that means I have to do it. Which will entail going and buying a disk, emailing my brief to myself, and then saving it in the computer lab. And of course I still have to make copies. I wish my brief was longer, since somehow that seems to indicate quality, but oh well. If I was hyper motivated I think I could only make it slightly better.

Tomorrow I have to face my other paper...

I got an email today from someone I used to go to school with who transferred away. It was a very nice surprise. It makes me wonder how she knew this was me though. My guess is that someone she is still in touch with told her. As much as my identity is transparent to anyone who knows me, I haven't spoken to her in eight months, so I can't imagine she could just guess.

My brief is now done printing! I have to say, I think my formatting is absolutely beautiful. |

Sunday, February 01, 2004

I am in a somewhat better mood today. Although the fact that I have to get up and go to work tomorrow and then go to school almost ruins it. Why do Sunday evenings have to have that feeling of dread? I had actually lost that feeling since I started school until I started this job in January. That's not good.

I had dinner at my dad and stepmom's house tonight. Salmon. I only see them when I show up at their door unannounced. I'm not exactly close to my family. Of all of my family, I probably feel the closest to my aunt and uncle and their three children. I babysat my cousins at least once a week for like six years, so I watched them grow up, and spent a lot of time at their house. Even now, they are the family I see the most. I am so excited because my cousin who is 15 had her first kiss Friday. It's not even me, but I'm so happy for her - even though she thought it was gross, which is exactly what I thought the first time. I love spending time with my aunt and uncle too. I was very close to my aunt when I was young before she had her own children, and I have always felt much more comfortable with her than with my own parents. And my uncle is fun too. He is very different from most of our family, but in a good way. He is great to talk about law or sports or stocks or almost anything with. So, I'm not that close to my parents and my sister, but at least I have extended family nearby to turn to. |