Randomness from a 2005 graduate of The Moritz College of Law at The Ohio State University


Monday, July 05, 2004

Dear Columbus Dispatch:
Please deliver my paper. Please deliver it every single day. Please don't skip every other Wednesday and the first Sunday of each month. Please do not deliver it more than once per day though. When you deliver a second paper in the afternoon, it makes it look like I'm out of town. Please do not force a hole into the plastic bag and then force the plastic bag onto my doorknob. When you do that, sometimes the bag rips before I open my door in the morning, and when it doesn't, the hole you have torn makes it difficult for me to remove my paper without mangling it. When I call to ask why I haven't gotten my paper, again, please don't tell me this is a very unusual occurrence. It's not, and I don't like it when you lie to me. When you have a supervisor call me, please tell him why he is calling me and tell him that good customer service requires that he apologize, even though he's not the delivery person. Please fire my delivery person so that he can get a job that he is good at. And please deliver my paper.

Your loyal reader, until there is another local paper |
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