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Randomness from a 2005 graduate of The Moritz College of Law at The Ohio State University

 

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Hate, hate, hate blogger. But anyway.

Right now I am sitting at home drinking a beer in the mid-afternoon before going to class. Normally I wouldn't do that (or at least admit it in writing), but we are going to be drinking in class anyway. Plus I needed it. My landlord just made me cry. Don't even ask. It was just because I cry when I get mad. And I didn't cry in front of anyone, although my hands were shaking so much I could barely sign my rent check.

I got an email from Dylan today, so I am smiley again. It was just a silly email, not some gushy, girly email, but that's enough to tell me that things are at least relatively normal between us. And he sent me art. Art makes me happy.

Tomorrow I have my last class of the semester (besides a class trip to a bar Thursday), and I am so happy. Everything went well this semester, but I am just kind of bored at this point. It will be kind of nice to pretty much just work for a month. Make some money, use my brain a little. And since I will be working so much more, I can get away with going in later, which is nice.

I am having internal scheduling conflicts about next semester. Right now I am enrolled in sales. That sounds like such a practical class to take. Which of course means I totally don't want to. I am on the waiting list for crim pro which meets at the same time. I am sure I would like that class, and I am pretty sure the professor will do whatever he can to get me in (plus it is fairly likely I will get in anyway). So, there is really no issue about sales; I'm dropping it. The issue is if I get into crim pro. I will want to take it, but if I don't it will mean that I don't start class on Monday and Wednesday until 5PM, Tuesday until 4PM, and Thursday until 2PM, with no class at all on Friday. How awesome is that schedule? This is possible because I got 9 credits over the last two summers. That schedule would allow me to easily work 20 hours per week ($$!!) and to volunteer at an awesome place during my other free time. Now, I can still do both even if I take crim pro, but it will be fewer hours, more driving, more hassle, and another exam. What should I do? Right now, if I get into crim pro, I am leaning towards taking it. This is my last chance to focus on learning after all. It's just like restaurants; too many choices and I can't handle it. Forget 31 flavors; let's stick with the three flavors of presumptions. (Sorry, bad crim pro humor a la Professor Michaels). |
 

Saturday, November 27, 2004

I am about to go spend the whole day doing school work and drinking coffee. Why? One, because I need to and I'm responsible like that. Two, because something weird is going on with Dylan and it is getting to me and I need to distract myself and I should have known better than to start liking him. Depending on what it is, it may be time for me to go back to the no-dating policy. And if it is nothing, I should still consider going back. My remarkable focus on school has definitely been lost in the last two months, and it might be time to refocus.

Last night I watched When A Man Loves A Woman on tv and ended up sobbing. It's important to know that the first time I saw it (in high school, in a theater), I also ended up sobbing. It remains the only movie that has ever made me actually cry. Back then I started crying when Meg Ryan hit her daughter and I never stopped, mostly because it was so terrifying to me that someone who seemed so nice could be destroyed by alcohol like that. Afterwards, still hysterically crying in the parking lot at Eastland, I swore to my boyfriend that I would never drink. Last night I didn't start crying until Andy Garcia said goodbye to the older daughter. I don't ever want to say goodbye to someone I love again. That is why I don't want to date. I have said goodbye as many time as I can handle. Being in less than stable long distance relationships only has made that worse because there were so many goodbyes where we weren't breaking up, but I also couldn't be sure if or when I would see him again. So, if Dylan has freaked out on me, fine. If I don't date for real again, fine. It is sad, I know. It is disappointing to me. It is less fun. But I don't have it in me to say goodbye to someone I love again.

And I will always have school or work. |
 

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone is doing something today that will make them happy and grateful, whatever that may be. I will be going to my grandparents' house shortly. In fact, any moment I should get an anxious phone call from my grandmother asking where I am and telling me to bring chairs.

Unlike at many people's homes, there won't be an opportunity for me to say what I'm grateful for during our Thanksgiving celebration. We don't do that. But, I would like to take the time to say that there are so many thinks I am thankful for. First, always, I am thankful for God's love and for all of the ways He has revealed himself to me and guided my life. I am thankful for my friends, even when they drive me crazy, and for my family, even though we are not always that close. I am thankful that I was able to be with my stepmother at her father's funeral. I am thankful for finding my way to law school and all that has come out of that; learning about the most exciting issues that affect people's lives, meeting inspiring people, finding a job I love, the chance for a career that will continue to challenge me. I am thankful that God gave me the strength to escape a horrible relationship and that He has allowed me to begin to heal and feel again. I am thankful for my wonderful friends, again. I hope everyone else has many things to be thankful for this year and is able to focus on the blessings in their lives, for one day at least. |
 

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Unlike some people, the end of the semester is kind of filling me with a sense of relief. Mostly because I am looking forward to sleeping a lot in December.

One huge relief is that although our journal is still not at the publisher, it will be soon. That means we all have a little time to relax. Of course there is still work to do, since the next issue is already well underway, but nothing is urgent right now.

I only have one exam, which I definitely need to start preparing for, but at least it is the only one. And fortunately I have a full week off (from school) prior to the exam. I have one paper, but I already had to write a draft over a month ago, so that shouldn't require too much more work. I have one final case to prosecute which is scheduled for pretrial next Monday. And I desperately need to finish up my externship projects, but that will happen.

The only thing I really need to work on seriously, which will be the focus of this weekend and beyond, is working on my infamous note. It's been 11 months, and it is time for it to be finished. It has been fun to write (most days), but also very frustrating. I think the biggest challenge has been writing what I want to write, not what the professors want me to write, and even moreso, figuring out exactly what it is that I want to write.

And for anyone who wants a boy update, the other night my best friend, let's call her Brenda, decided we had to talk about what was going on with me and Dylan. It was a brief conversation because I refused to overanalyze, but it left me feeling sick. It is one thing to be having fun and think maybe I'm starting to like him, it's another thing to actually talk about it. But in the spirit of not analyzing, I am trying not to think too much, and when I see him tomorrow I am confident it will be fun and unmeaningful like I want it to be. |
 

Monday, November 22, 2004

Today, right before class started, I hear "Do you know who all the OSU bloggers are?" "Do you know who law v. life is?" I didn't look up, but I heard Chris say yes and someone else say, "She's in this room." It was a slightly awkward moment, and kind of funny. I don't try to be secretive or mysterious, but I don't advertise my identity either. I'm way too afraid of having my name associated with this blog online. Not because of anything in particular that I write, but just because it is always risky, especially in a professional sense. Just the other day I saw a newspaper clipping on the desk of the senior partner at my firm with the headline "Bloggers Beware." My heart was pounding throughout our entire meeting. So the moral is, if anyone wants to know who I am, and promises not to publish it online, just email me and ask (or ask Chris). I'm not ashamed, just a little cautious. |
 

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Check out USD Law and Politics. It is sometimes funny, often legal/political but not boring, and a little too inclusive in its writing team for my taste. Maybe if I lived in a blue state I would be less bitter.

[Update: I like this site even more since they described me as "Bridget Jones in law school." Not sure it's a compliment, but I like it.] |
 
Slight problem. I might be liking Dylan. But I'm sure I can get over it. |
 

Monday, November 15, 2004

I am spending the night attempting to proofread 388 pages for journal. That is a whole lot of pages. And I couldn't get a seat at the 4 coffee shops I tried, so I'm stuck working at home. I have two doctor's appointments tomorrow, so maybe if I don't get done tonight I can work then. This is basically our final week working on this issue which is kind of exciting. Hopefully I won't need to do too much over the weekend because this is going to be the birthday weekend o' fun from the moment I leave work Friday until I fall asleep Sunday. |
 

Thursday, November 11, 2004

The entire family is about to go bowling in honor of my grandfather. How cool is that? (Not bowling, just the idea). All of the services have been very nice, and it has been great to be with everyone.

I caught up on some of my legal reading on the plane (gotta love those ABA magazines) and finished up my closing argument. Now I have an assignment from my job that I may start on today or tomorrow. Unfortunately the plane is too small to actually use my computer during the flight. And on the way back, every member of my family is seated in the center seat of different rows. I wish I had journal work with me, but everything was too urgent for me to bring with me. I am getting very anxious not knowing what is going on. I should just trust everyone else I guess.
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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Tomorrow morning I am flying to a funeral, so I don't really know when I'll be posting again for a few days although I am sure I'll find a way to have internet access while I'm gone. The last two days have been insane because I had to get so much done before leaving town. Basically it has all been journal. I feel like I am leaving so much important work behind, but I should trust that everyone else can handle things without me for three days. I really hope that I don't get kicked off the fun new project at work because I'm gone. I don't think that will happen, but it will be very disappointing if it does. At last I am excited about work again and I don't want to lose that.

The drama in my life only continues. Things continue to be fun with Dylan. My friend is acting all wounded because we haven't told her every detail, but she needs to learn that she isn't entitled and that other people have a right to privacy. She'll get over it. Did I mention the prosecutor from election day? Well there was one (from another state). He helped me briefly forget my sorrows. Anyway, he called me last night which was very unexpected and strange, but kind of nice. I might see him in like a month and a half when I go visit a friend in the city where he lives, so that could be an amusing diversion. Did I also mention that I saw Brandon on election night? I did. It was cool, but even I am running out of patience for the flirty emails. For now I'll stick with Dylan, at least when he isn't working. ;)
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Saturday, November 06, 2004

Now that I am finally recovering from the election (physically), I am remembering that I actually have school responsibilities. It was impossible to forget about journal, but everything else kind of faded from my consciousness for a week or so. Today: Edit my note, work on my closing statement for trial team try-outs, read crim pro, maybe edit my seminar paper. And then get back to my new lifestyle of drinking and boys.
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Wednesday, November 03, 2004

I am too sad to write anything. Not angry or bitter really, just so, so sad. I don't even want to think about the ways this country is going to continue to progress down a path of destruction.
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I need to stop staring at the maps and finally go to sleep after 23 1/2 hours, because I do not have the power to will them to change.
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