Randomness from a 2005 graduate of The Moritz College of Law at The Ohio State University


Thursday, May 26, 2005

In the comments, someone asked if being a vegan was a big deal. For a girl who when someone says, "What kind of food do you like?" answers, "meat," yeah, it’s a fairly big deal. During the movie, I kept thinking about what we could eat together and if he would not only have a problem with me eating rare hamburgers, but even with me putting milk in my coffee. I have vegetarian friends, and except when we go out to eat together, it’s obviously not an issue. But, it seems like all the vegetarians I know always want to go to Indian or Ethiopian restaurants, or other places where it is very common to share the food. The problem is that then everything has to be vegetarian, or else it is inequitable that I will eat their food but they won’t eat mine. And their food always seems to be eggplant. I hate eggplant. I like lots of vegetables and non-meat foods, but I hate eggplant and nearly all vegetarians think it is the greatest thing ever. So when we go out I’m stuck eating eggplant and spinach and tofu or else looking like a jerk ordering alone. I imagine the problem would be far more pronounced in a relationship where you eventually are eating together every night and cooking for each other. In my past relationships I have loved cooking dinner every night: pork chops, chicken cutlets, flank steak, grilled fish – the base of every meal I’ve ever made has been meat – I even prefer my spaghetti sauce to be more meaty than saucy. Cooking and eating together has always been a really important part of a relationship for me. It is sensual; it is stable; it is experimental; it is togetherness for me. I would have to really love someone to learn to tolerate meatless meals, especially since he wouldn’t be learning to tolerate eating meat, just tolerate me eating me. But even if I could handle that, there is a huge difference between vegetarian and vegan. I know who I am, and a vegan I am not.

Honestly, if everything else had been good, I would have tried to reserve judgment, and right now I would be telling myself and everyone else that it wasn’t that big of a deal. I would be wrong, but I would try to believe it. However, the date was less than stellar overall. At least he was cute… Really cute, actually. He got to my house early and talked incessantly, about law school, almost to the point of making us late to the movie. During the movie, his phone just kept ringing and ringing and ringing – fortunately on vibrate – so he just kept checking it to see who was calling. You’re not on call or anything, ignore the phone! Afterwards he drove me home and that was the end of the date. No kiss. Although he did say he had a good time and we should go out again. But that is the polite thing to say either way. It is entirely possible that he wanted me to suggest getting a drink or invite him or something, but I have a problem where I just can’t bring myself to help guys out. I figure if they’re interested, they’ll take the initiative.

And back to the kissing… My advice to all guys, which surprisingly few seem to know, is ALWAYS kiss the girl. Don’t necessarily try to make out with her or get her to sleep with you, but, please, kiss her. Every single girl I know thinks the guy isn’t interested if he doesn’t kiss her. But from the guys I’ve talked to, it is quite often not connected. They kiss girls they aren’t interested in, don’t kiss girls they are, as well as the other way around. They even sometimes think a girl likes a guy who doesn’t try to kiss on the first date. Maybe in theory, but it always makes the girl think you aren’t interested.

And he lives with his parents. |
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