Randomness from a 2005 graduate of The Moritz College of Law at The Ohio State University


Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I haven't disappeared. Entirely. Here's the kind of short version of my life for the last two weeks.

Bar Exam:
I felt like I shouldn't post during the bar exam as if it would somehow be bad luck. All I really have to say about that is I survived. Also, they ended with all my favorite subjects, so I left feeling much better than I would have had the order been reversed. Favorite is, of course, relative. Anyway, that's over. We now have three months to agonize over whether or not we passed, but it appears I will be busy enough at work that I won't have too much time to worry. And of course, worrying is pointless anyway.

Celebrating after the bar exam:
My plan was to celebrate with my non-law school friends the day after the bar exam. Give myself time to recover and rest and then have a great time with people who would not want to analyze the exam. Unfortunately my "best" friend completely failed to come through for me. Despite several weeks notice of my desire to celebrate, she was too "tired." She also told our other mutual friends who were with her earlier in the day not to bother coming out. So I had one drink with her before I let her bail and then ended up drinking alone. My sister did join me for a drink and one of my very favorite new 3Ls chatted with me while she worked. It was thoroughly depressing.

Trip after the bar exam:
I wished I was taking the bar exam again. The aforementioned "best" friend had backed out on our trip to St. Martin, which had been planned for 6 monhts, so I ended up going on the road trip that was intended to be me making the best of the situation. What was I thinking??? I hate doing things alone. I can eat alone or go to the movies alone, but vacation? Not so much. It sucked. Plus, I ended up driving through a lot of the areas where I used to live with the psycho ex. And worst of all, the highlight was supposed to be visiting the prosecutor. It was terrible. I spent half the time sitting in my hotel room waiting for him to call and the other half with him alternating between having fun and feeling horrible about myself. I doubt I will ever speak to him again.

After the trip:
I came home to a very serious family crisis. Those of you out there who pray, my family needs your prayers. On a literal level, things are now okay. Yesterday I didn't know if that would be the case, but right now I think that's true. On a broader level, I don't think things will ever be okay or have been for a long time. I don't know that there is anything I can do, other than pray. That is a really scary feeling, but it also reminds you that really that is always the case.

In the midst of all of this, I started work today. Thank God I like my job. I am working on a big, tedious project right now that involves basically no thought, but that is fine with me. This strange limbo time of almost-laywer is so weird. I'm just happy I got a parking card today.

Other than the jerk prosecutor... I saw the vegan tonight and we had a really good talk. It was mature and respectful and the kind of talk men and women should have. He wanted it to end with us "starting over." I don't think there is any chance of that, but it was pleasant, and there is always that pull to be with someone even when you know it's wrong. I think we will probably casually stay in touch. I am supposed to call the guy with the motorcycle. Did I mention he is somewhat older? 12 years. But cute. And there is always my best male friend. We hooked up after the bar exam, but that was just because we are friends, not because it meant anything. By the way, he is the one who was confusing me back before Thanksgiving. So there is nothing really going on, but several nothings to entertain me a little.

Now I just need sleep. And to get back to focusing on my fantasy baseball teams. |
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