Randomness from a 2005 graduate of The Moritz College of Law at The Ohio State University


Sunday, August 28, 2005

One of the headlines on AOL says "French fries need warnings?". You know what needs warning labels? Men.

WARNING: This man may be hazardous to your health. Consume with extreme caution. He may be married/engaged/otherwise committed, and is unlikely to tell you so. He may be have a different sexual preference than you do. He may have an STD. He is likely to enjoy playing games, manipulating you, and otherwise making you unsure of where you stand and what his level of interest is. He probably only wants sex. And he probably doesn't care if you enjoy the sex. This man will either not become attached to you at all or will become abnormally attached, possessive, and jealous in a remarkably short period of time. He will say he wants you to have your own interests, but what he means is he wants to be free to pursue his interests (drinking with the guys, flirting with other girls, and other similar endeavors), but wants you to always be available on his timetable and not to ever have too much fun without him. Spending too much time with this man may cause you to develop feelings of love and attachment that will end in disappointment, anxiety and insecurity as a result of his unwillingness to commit and/or communicate his feelings, and to experience a general sense of confusion, unhappiness, and melancholia if not treated quickly by permanent separation. Do not consume if you have a sensitive disposition, have a low pain threshold, or want to maintain your faith in humanity and belief in true love. Enjoy. |
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