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Randomness from a 2005 graduate of The Moritz College of Law at The Ohio State University

 

Thursday, October 27, 2005

In case things don't go well tomorrow, I'm trying to think of alternative career paths.

1. Window washer - indoor only (not so into the heights thing) - I hate to clean, but for some reason I really like washing windows. Especially if they are really dirty. It's nice to see your hard work pay off right away.

2. Hostess at fancy restaurant - I like to wear nice dresses and I can smile for hours. I was once a waitress and I was horrible at it and when I mix drinks they always taste like pure alcohol, so I think I'm stuck with hostess if I aim for the food service industry. Fast food probably wouldn't work out so well either because it is just too dirty for me. I don't like to get dirty.

3. Coffee shop secret shopper - needs no explanation.

4. Moderately upscale prostitute - I would say high class, but I just can't believe there is much of a market for that in Columbus. I met quite a few not so upscale prostitutes when I worked at the PD's office, and I know I'm a step up from that. I know, it's degrading, dirty, dangerous... Aside from all that and the probably devastating emotional toll, it just sounds like such easy money.

5. Visitor's bureau representative - I am frighteningly enthusiastic about all that Columbus has to offer. First year the CBA rep at orientation told me I should work for the visitor's bureau. Is that what you are supposed to say to a 1L?

6. Restaurant critic - Okay, I would probably do this anyway if I had the chance. I love good food, but am very picky, and I always think people care about my opinions. In college I did an entire tutorial on writing criticism for print media, so it would still be kind of like I was using my education.

7. Peanut vendor - It would be awesome to sell peanuts at baseball games. I would do hockey too. And I would sell cotton candy if I had to even though I think it's gross. I'm not strong enough for beer though. Although maybe I could work up to that, because that's where the tips are. I couldn't get a job as an usher with the Mariners because I had a college degree, so the JD might be a slight impediment, but I could always leave it off my application. Sports almost every night could help make up for the less than stellar wages.

8. Private Investigator - I should already be charging for this. I am way too good at finding out information about people. If I had a license to do it I would have an excuse to take those steps that cross my mind but are out of line as an amateur.

I wanted to think of 10 possible careers so I would go to sleep tonight filled with hope no matter what happens, but I just can't think of anything else I have the right skills for. I'll think about it more if I have to, I guess. Now I'm going to bang my head against the wall to try to knock myself out for the night. |
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